Cracked Science: Quantum Medicine | The Body of Evidence

Cracked Science: Quantum Medicine


Every month, the podcast will conclude with a segment entitled Cracked Science in which I criticize bad science and talk pseudoscience. Here's the transcript from the latest segment:


Do you have trouble getting it up and keeping it up? Don’t you wish there was a “natural” alternative to Viagra so you could stick it to Big Pharma... literally? Have you tried Quantum Pills? They contain a mixture of herbs claimed to stimulate production of testosterone and semen. Do they work? Probably not. But why are they “quantum” pills?


Quantum means the smallest amount of many forms of energy. A photon is a quantum of light. It is also an adjective used to describe the physics of atoms and their subatomic particles. What it isn’t is a form of medicine.


The word “quantum” is used as a marketing gimmick to sell duds, and also to give a patina of legitimacy to institutions based on nonsense. Have you heard about the Center for Quantum-Integral Medicine? They base their therapeutic services on a mixture of quantum theory, complexity theory and spirituality to understand how the body can heal itself. This is known as “blinding with science” or, more commonly, as cow excrements.


Medicine may be complex but it is never mystical. The sometimes bizarre rules that govern fermions and bosons do not translate to our macroscopic world of organs and drugs. Charlatans, however, don’t care if you don’t know that. They are using a fascinating field of physics as a catch-all explanation for why their brand of mystical nonsense is actually scientific. “You see, healing prayers work because Schrodinger’s cat was both alive and dead... or something! It’s not magic; it’s science.”


Quantum medicine is a sign that you’re about to be ripped off. Remember that Marvin Gaye sung about sexual healing, not quantum healing.